There was palpable excitement at the offices of BradParksBooks.com, where the interns had gathered around the conference table to hammer out a press release regarding two significant pieces of news.
One, that Brad had signed a two-book deal with Amazon Publishing.
And, two, that Brad's latest novel, The Last Act, had been optioned for development as a TV series.
"Okay, people, settle down, settle down," said Zach, the silly intern, bringing the meeting to order. "I've been thinking about this press release for the better part of ten minutes now, and I think I've nailed it. Let's just get it down on paper and then fine tune it. Peter, would you mind taking notes?"
Peter, the slothful intern, was toying with Snapchat, trying to make it show him what he'd look like as an alien.
Zach frowned. "Right, as I was saying: Maggie, would you mind taking notes?"
Maggie, the clueless intern, opened her laptop and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
"Alright, here goes," Zach said, clearing his throat. "International bestselling author Brad Parks has signed a two-book contract with Amazon Publishing, delivering an enormous shot in the arm to the publisher's parent company, an obscure, struggling, e-commerce website."
Sarah, the smart intern, did a spit take with her coffee.
Zach continued, "The first book, Interference, tells the story of a woman who dives into the mysteries of quantum physics to find her missing husband. It will be released in July 2020 by Thomas & Mercer, Amazon's mystery/thriller imprint, which has never before been graced by a star of Parks's radiant magnitude."
"Zach, Thomas & Mercer just signed Dean Koontz," Sarah said. "Last year, they signed Patricia Cornwell. They also have a stable of homegrown talent who—"
"News of the signing sent Amazon's stock surging, as analysts suggested the moribund online retailer just might be able to survive the holiday season without filing for bankruptcy protection. On Wall Street, Goldman Sachs rated Amazon's stock a 'strong buy,' an upgrade from, 'headed for an iceberg faster than Kate Winslet with Leo DiCaprio strapped to her back.'"
"Zach, that's not even a thing," Sarah protested.
"Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos said, quote, 'Since founding a tiny online bookseller in my garage in 1994, I have been waiting for a time like this, when I could confidently say I had made a go of this quixotic venture of mine. This feels like that moment. I would like to thank Brad for bringing his enormous following to Amazon Publishing and personally saving me from financial ruin.'"
At that point, even Maggie stopped taking notes.
With Zach's version of recent events in need of a few more tweaks, the interns will just have to share this with you directly:
Yes, Brad is now being published by Amazon's Thomas & Mercer. What does this mean for you? Very little, actually. Thomas & Mercer acts like a traditional publisher in most ways. It still publishes paper books, sells them in bookstores (and, ahem, online), and produces an audio edition as well. The only difference is its parent company also happens to be America's largest bookseller.
In other news, Brad is pleased to announced that his most recent smash hit, The Last Act, has been optioned for development as a television series by SkyDance Media, the production company known for the Mission: Impossible franchise, the Top Gun franchise, the Jack Reacher movies and other high-octane thrillers.
SkyDance will be pitching The Last Act with an eye toward the burgeoning streaming market. The project is still in the early stages (read: Don't start pestering Brad for a role as an extra just yet), but Brad is pleased by the potential of his work gracing the small screen. The interns will keep you abreast of all the exciting developments in future missives.
In the meantime, they have other work to do.
Starting with a press release to rewrite.
Yours with an Amazon Smile,
The BradParksBooks.com Interns